You might be a true Alabamian if …

Published 8:57am Monday, September 9, 2013

Occasionally I run across something in an email or on Facebook that particularly appeals to me. I happened on one of those items just the other day. It’s likely some of you have already seen this, but I thought I would share it for the benefit of those of you who haven’t.
As usual with something like this I’ve added a couple of things that occurred to me as worthy of inclusion. Anyway, here goes …
You might be a true Alabamian if:
1. You can properly pronounce Andalusia, Arab, Boaz, Eufaula, Fyffe, Georgiana, Helena, Mobile, Montevallo, Opelika, Owassa, Sardis, Sylacauga, Talladega, Tallassee, Tuscaloosa, Tuscumbia, Wedowee and Wetumpka
2. You think people who complain about the heat (and humidity) in their states are sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel cloud.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don’t have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.
6. You’ve seen people wear bib-overalls at funerals (and weddings).
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes. (How far is it? Oh, about 20 minutes.)
9. You learned how to swim almost before you learned to walk because there’s a swimming pool, creek, pond, river, lake or the Gulf of Mexico within a 30-minute drive of wherever you live in the state.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cow pies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date. (No doubt!)
13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than a dinner plate.
14. You aren’t surprised to find biscuits, movie rental, ammunition and bait all in the same store.
15. A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado extended bed crew cab is.
16. You know everything goes better with ranch dressing.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. You actually get these jokes and are “fixin’” to pass them on to your friends.
19. You have used your heater and air conditioner on the same day (in both your home and your vehicle).
20. You have no trouble interpreting what (mostly) elderly folks mean when they refer to the mid-day meal as dinner and the evening meal as supper. Breakfast is the same wherever you are.
21. You have eaten almost every kind of food item fried at one time or another (cornbread, oreos, ice cream, pickles, turkey, etc.)
22. Many of the people you know have a cable and television set-up on their back porch or covered patio to accommodate large gatherings of friends to watch sports events.
23. You can follow driving directions given entirely through the use of landmarks. (Go up that way for a little while until you see a red barn. Turn right just past it, then go a little further until you see the white church and turn left.)
24. You always pull off the road to show respect when you meet a funeral procession.
Finally: You are 100 percent Alabamian if you have ever had this conversation:
25. “Wanna coke?” “Yeah.” “What kind?” “RC.”
Until next week … (and bless your hearts)

Peggy Blackburn is managing editor of The Wetumpka Her­ald and Elmore County Weekend. She can be reached at 334-567-7811. Her email address is peggy.blackburn@TheWetumpkaHerald.com.

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