‘Lord, the one you love is sick’Published 1:54pm Monday, May 5, 2014
By Dr. James Troglen
I was sick this past week. I mean REALLY SICK! I was told I had pneumonia and needed to go into the hospital. I said no because I knew I needed to preach Sunday and would not be out early enough to do so.
Instead I was quarantined for three days under housewife arrest so I would get better. As a man, in fact as all men do, I felt it necessary to take charge of my own healing. A really bad idea guys.
First, I had to lay in bed and watch TV and I was really weak so my wife, Jeannie, had to come back into the bedroom several times (she says constantly) for her to help me use the remote. Those buttons are hard when your sick aren’t they guys?
Then I had the medicine, the largest pills I have ever seen. They looked like fishing lures without the hooks. I remember telling Jeannie I didn’t think I could get them down. She then shared with me the option of taking them another way (disgusting) and suddenly I was able to swallow them with no problem.
I had a humidifier which would help me breathe better. I got bored and came up with the idea that most of the medicated air was being lost in the surrounding air of the room. So I got a few feet of plastic hose, a little tape and made my own nose breathing apparatus. I pushed it into the exhaust hole of the humidifier quite pleased with myself.
All I remember next was Jeannie pushing my eyes back in my head and saying things like “Leave the child alone for one minute and look what he does.” My eyes are OK now, still a little buggy. I have to tilt my head to focus clearly, but the doctor said there’s a good chance they will return to normal once the pressure in my head drops a bit.
What about cough medicine? The bottle said one teaspoon every four to six hours. It also said it was a powerful narcotic and not to overdose. Well, you ladies know your men right? If one teaspoon can stop the cough for four hours several might stop it altogether.
After MY DOSAGE was taken I heard the Beatles’ “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and a voice saying “Stay with me James we don’t have enough insurance for you to pull this on me.” Jeannie swears it wasn’t her, but the voice sounded like hers.
Anyway she found Husband Protective Caps for everything and all settled down a bit around the house. I wasn’t very hungry and was quite happy with anything my wife brought me.
However, somehow, I must have crossed that proverbial line we husbands hang around in a marriage. The last day of my almost terminal illness she walked into the room and asked me what I wanted for breakfast.
I told her it didn’t matter, whatever she wanted to fix, but that a nice plate of eggs and bacon with lightly toasted bread and fresh marmalade would be nice. She glared and left the room and came back in just a few moments with the pan and the eggs.
She asked me how I wanted them. Seeing she was a bit tired and perhaps a little edgy I said, “Oh, whatever is easiest for you doll.” With that she took two eggs, cracked them open onto my plate and handed it to me.
Pastor, did you eat them? Well, let’s just say it wasn’t the moment to make a big deal out of breakfast. With a little salt, pepper, hot sauce, onion and a good dose of my cough medicine they were just fine.
Anyway I am well now, back in the office and in my last stages of pneumonia recovery. I have a new outlook on those who are ill, especially men who are married.
I have a few words for my wife: So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick” (John 11:3). And he likes his eggs scrambled.
Dr. James Troglen is pastor of First Baptist Church of Wetumpka.