I know, I know, it’s “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
Before true Harry Potter fan Lizi Arbogast Gwin edits out the title of this week’s essay, I wanted to say that it is indeed true: Lord Voldemort, you-know-who, drives a Toyota.
Maybe not the actor who plays him, Ralph Fiennes; in fact, according to a profile of the actor in GQ Magazine, he has a collection of vehicles that he doesn’t drive. I am talking about the guy sitting at the intersection of the Northern Bypass and Wares Ferry Road in Montgomery.
There he was at the traffic light. A face pale as chalk, snake-like slits for a nose, overall looking more like a skull than anything else. His tiny, beady eyes looked menacingly over at me and I had to look away from the evil.
Plus, he was in a late-model Toyota Mirai, which has been named by automotive enthusiasts as the ugliest car Toyota has ever produced.
That light couldn’t change fast enough for me. Every time I looked over at Lord Voldemort – you know, Tom Riddle – he was already looking at me. I was so scared!
Over the summer, as I began to transition to a new life working for Faulkner University, my travels have taken me all over the River Region and beyond as we spread the word about our music scholarship program.
My new job is quite different from the world of serving as a choral director the past few years. It is more like a salesman-type job working for the admissions office and music department at the University.
For example, I have contacted over 200 students who might have clicked on the band page of the Faulkner website and shown the slightest bit of interest in attending. I have dug deep into applications, ACT scores, children of alumni, you name it.
What we are offering is over 70% off tuition if you participate in the band or choir at Faulkner.
That’s a $16,000 scholarship – right off the top. And you can stack it with other scholarships and grants. A student could attend our college completely free, just for being in music.
This amazing opportunity came along and when the University approached me about it, after 28 years of teaching public school – most of that at Tallassee – it was an interesting offer. I know it won’t last forever but the opportunity to build something like this was exciting, so here we go!
Along with contacting over 200 potential students, I’ve also visited nearly every band camp that was going on in the River Region and personally contacted 98 schools around the southeast. The school approved my design of a full-page advertisement and we purchased space in the state journal for music teachers. I’ve visited WSFA-TV 12 for interviews, spent countless hours writing press releases, and attended a dozen or so meetings with higher-ups at the college over the summer as we mapped out a strategy for building the band program.
In summary, while the pasty-looking Lord Voldemort is out driving his Toyota Mirai, I’m cruising through your town in a Ford Econoline spreading the good news about music scholarships. It may look like a church bus to you, but imagine a sign on the back that says, “Follow me to Faulkner.”
Michael Bird is an assistant professor of music at Faulkner University.
