Would you let your teenagers stay in a hotel room alone?

By Stephen Beech

Less than half of parents would let teenagers stay in a hotel room alone while they went out, according to new research.

Many moms and dads struggle with letting their children have independence as they get older on family holidays, suggests the study.

And one in five said they have never allowed their teenager to be away from them during a trip.

The research involving 1,047 American parents of teenagers was conducted by the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health.

Co-director Sarah Clark said: “It’s natural for teens to seek more independence and time away from parents, especially in new environments like family vacations.

“Allowing them some space can be a valuable opportunity to build confidence, practice decision-making, and develop self-management skills they’ll need as they move toward adulthood.

"Our poll found that many parents are hesitant about giving teens that level of independence.”

The findings showed that one in three parents would be very likely to allow their teen to walk a short distance to a coffee shop while on holiday.

Around one in five moms and dads say they’d be very likely to let their teen split off separately at a museum or amusement park.

Clark said: “Parents may believe they are shielding their teens from possible harm, but being overprotective can limit teens’ ability to develop important life skills such as navigating unfamiliar situations, assessing risks and facing real-world responsibilities.

“Helping teens gain independence is a gradual process, and vacations can be an ideal testing ground.”

Two-thirds of parents say they are "very confident" their teen would follow the rules if given the opportunity to spend time unsupervised in an unfamiliar setting.

But concerns about safety persist with half the parents polled saying they still worry about the risk of an accident or injury, regardless of their teen’s age or sex.

Parents of girls (70%) are "significantly" more likely than parents of boys (41%) to worry about their teen being approached by a stranger.

In contrast, parents of boys are more concerned that their teen might “do something dumb” or engage in risky behaviour.

Among parents who reported that their teenager has spent time away from them while on holiday, many indicate they set rules to keep their teen safe.

Rules could include having the teen check in by phone, asking them to stay with friends or siblings and staying in agreed-upon locations.

More than half of moms and dads also report using the tracking feature on their teens’ mobile phones when they spend time away from parents while on holiday.

Clark said: “Location tracking can be reassuring for parents when teens are away from them, but it’s most effective when it’s discussed openly and agreed on together in advance.

“Parents can explain that it’s meant for safety, not surveillance.”

She recommends that parents help prepare teenagers to be on their own in age-appropriate ways, such as taking a First Aid course and agreeing on how often and where to reconnect.

Clark added: “While on vacation, it’s important for parents to have open conversations with their teen about how to balance freedom and safety.

“If approached thoughtfully, these moments away from direct parental supervision allow teens to practice responsibility and decision-making in a relatively safe environment, while still knowing support is nearby if needed.”